Nothing's changed

He came

He went

I stayed

At the same point

Where everything had started

He broke promises

In no time he’d made them

And I still believed him as ever

With my eyes closed

He left without saying goodbye

I just stared blankly

Eyes must have welled with tears

But they feared to fall

Lips had countless words

But they stumbled to make confessions

I was burning with agony inside

But I appeared as calm as ever

And I cried

When I was all by myself

For the time that changed

And I thought

That was the end

End of my life

End of my world

End of my fantasies

He was a shadow

That appeared and disappeared

I wish he would stay for a while longer though

But never told him so

I went back to being a bloody corpse

Who not knew how to live

With every air that gushed in

World seemed to be halting

This is how I forgot how to live

And kept on pretending so

I stared at the mirror one day

And realized I was still the same

I could smile

If only I twisted my lips

What if he is gone

There are always several around

I can laugh

Get high as I used to

Live life the way I want to

One person can’t ruin my world

Life cannot change

I won’t let it do.

Hopelessness

I no longer wonder

How high the sky is

Where the river ends

How deep that sea seems

How bright the sun can be

Why cuckoo sings so pretty

Why the wind whistles gently

I fear to take a new road

Fear what if it never ends

I take life as it comes

Don’t dare to dream for something new

It is the surprises the life brings

That frightens me the most

What if they bring lingering pain

That can never be healed

I no longer wait for someone to take my breath away

For the soul mate made in heaven

I have stopped imagining

White horse

Tall guy

Riding his horse

Coming towards me

While I’m sleeping

To take me with him

To be together forever

I despise everything

I now know nothing I thought can be true

I mocked the world

When they said I would lose my power to imagine

I thought the world is a liar

And that I would always dream

Create my own world

Live in my fantasies

Every hopes as I've lost

So I realized

I don’t have wings

I can never fly

If I ever try

I will always die.

I am having hard time understanding life. Life has never been as simple to me as I had expected it to be. It’s always been full of surprises and unexpected events. Full of wishes and hopes, shattering realities and then radiating smiles and welled up eyes. There are people you love and long to be with while there are others you hate with all your guts. You wish to be with your love all your life and hope not to see your enemy ever. Your love turns into your enemy in no time and you hate yourself for loving that person ever in your life. Your best friend falls for your boyfriend, your boyfriend sleeps with someone else, and the guy you had a crush on for so long is actually having affair with someone else. You wish that you had never known them. But you can’t help. Then you wish that everything was only a bad dream that would end soon. But things won’t return to good old days. And then you wish to find someone else instead who will be your true love. Someone might come. You might also end up wishing all your life. You go to mall during valentine’s week. You see people buying gifts for their loved. You wish you were one of them. Love is in the air, they say. You try to smell the air, feel the love. No. It is all void. There is nothing for you. They lied to you. The world is a liar, you realize. So you keep on moving never to fall in love again for some stories do not have a happy ending.